I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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