please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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