After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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