I wish I only lived at night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
