I love black thongs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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