i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
