Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think my mom watched the whole time
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
