and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
