Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
