did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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