his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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