is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
