he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
