New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
