just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
