hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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