This girl is more easily done than said...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
