i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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