did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm passing your future prison.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
