I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
