I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Someone shattered a urinal.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
