how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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