Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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