Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
