Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
