they need to just BURY HIM!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
