shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
