yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
