listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
