ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
