and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So apparently I’m into choking now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
