Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
