ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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