I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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