Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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