every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
