all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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