what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
