Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
