The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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