Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
