I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You are a genius and a whore.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
