I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
