I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
