Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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