her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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