the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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