Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
