why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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