marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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